Show Me How to Say Goodbye to the Old

Part Two

Where was I? Oh ya being a female that over thinks everything. What else is new? But I actually went to seek advice from others about what to do about my man situation. And who better to ask then a girls father.

My dad is probably a lot different than your "typical" father. His advice to everything is always the same “Just go make out with someone.” Dad my gerbil died- Just go make out with someone. Dad I’m on my period- Just go make out with someone. Dad I am like in love with Josh Hutcherson- Just go make out with someone. I think that he thinks that if I just run around throwing my cad at every male in Provo- that I will just chance upon love like he did.

So this time I figured the advice would be on the same lines. And it was.  But instead this conversation was one I needed to hear.

I was so afraid to enter another relationship like the formers ones. Because somehow- if I did that would prove that I had learned absolutely nothing from heartache, and would keep living in the same cycle. But honestly I have grown since then. My tastes in men are slowly changing. When I once gravitated towards arrogant sods, I now find myself disenchanted with their world of one they have to offer. I don’t tolerate people that treat me poorly. So even if I am afraid that I haven’t changed- I have. The main thing I need to learn how to do is just breathe.

Then he said words that ring true to me- I need to stop being afraid to fail in relationships.

At this time in my life it feels like every person needs to fit into some compartment- friends, enermies, frenemies, best friends, or lovers. But the sad thing is that once you get married it’s uncommon for you to find a way to remain friends with the males in your life previously. I keep trying not to ruin “friendships” I have in my life to see if they could evolve into something more because that’s the category I placed them in. But honestly I will probably lose those people in the long run anyways. So why not stop fearing failure. Yes some relationships aren’t going to work out- most aren’t in fact. But even if it does fail it doesn’t mean you have failed. And it’s better to know if it’s going to fail sooner rather than later. So you sometimes lose people- it’s not your fault.

The main thing we talked about is my attitude towards rushing into things. I figure that things went bad in my relationships because we spent all of our time kissing. But maybe, instead, that’s what gave it a chance. Because instead of freaking out about whether or not this could be my husband, they were the one, or analyzing their faults- I was giving my heart a chance to play the game. Yes, kissing too soon blinded me to some obvious things, but it also took my head out of the relationship as much. But maybe, just maybe, I’m the type of girl that needs to stop thinking and just start acting.

I need to stop being afraid to fail and go back to carefree, taking chances Lexi. Am I going to go make out with everyone? To my fathers disappointment no. But am I going to jump into things with my heart, and give it a chance before tearing it to pieces? I hope so. As always this is a journey I explore, write about, and share with you all. We shall see how this new mind set works.

And thanks daddy for a very long speech that helped me, and got me to think about your advice. Even though it was a big speech about how I really should just go make out with someone. 

My Wonderful Father and I