Dating and the Rice Crispy Theorem

Forward- For all my Australian friends asking what is a Rice Crispy Treat? Leave a comment and I shall make you one. For all my American friends- hell and damn aren't considered cuss words here. So.....  I wrote this like two months ago in my journal and thought why not share? 

The problem with most of the men in my life is that I have loved them like I have loved Rice Crispy Treats.

If you were to ask me if I love Rice Crispy Treats my mind automatically goes to all the other sweets out there. I picture warm gooey brownies, tuffs of custard pillowing over the edge of a cream puff, melted caramel dripping over the edge of a fresh made cake. But Rice Crispy Treats?

"Ya I guess...."

When I am at a party and there are Rice Crispy Treats my odds on eating them are entirely dependent on the other desserts. If all I have is chips and salsa, or lumpy chocolate chip cookies to choose from- sure I may grab the crispies. But chances are, I won't. Even if the party has nothing but Rice Crispy Treats, I will typically hold out hope that a cheesecake might walk through the door. And I wouldn't want to be the sucker who got full off of the pre dessert and missed out on the real thing.

But I have eaten them before. In moments of desperation, they seem to appear. The first bite- I am always genuinely surprised. And soon (whether because I'm hungry or I start to enjoy it more than I anticipated)the entire glass pan will disappear. And if I know someone else wants one after I've taken the first bite, I will fight for the damn dessert like it's a creme brûlée.

Before long the whole tray has been eaten, and I am lying in my bed hating myself for the waste of calories. All I can think about is how I am still not convinced I actually love Rice Crispy Treats. I know I loved it in that moment, I did. I even fought for it. But when alone with a stomach ache, I just feel like saying 'I love Rice Crispy Treats' is just too big of a commitment. Because if I say I love Rice Crispy Treats, people might make that my designated "Give to Lexi to be nice food" and I'd much rather have other desserts. As my stomach churns, I wonder why I ever even ate Rice Crispy Treats to begin with. And I swear off it.

But then I become hungry again.

I just wish I could love Rice Crispy Treats as much as I love pumpkin pie. Hell, I wish I could love boys as much as I love pumpkin pie.

And on that note I am off to make a dessert. The only things I have the ingredient to make are Pumpkin Pie and Rice Crispy Treats. One would take hours- what with whipping the cream, hand making the crust, and letting it sit, and baking for an hour. The other takes seconds..... and we all know I do hate waiting.