Compare where you are to where you wanna be, and you get nowhere

I love the power of prayer. I find it amazing that Heavenly Father always knows what to give us. Sometimes it answers, sometimes it understanding, sometimes it's emotions or impressions, sometimes it comfort, and sometimes it's other people.


It used to drive me insane that he couldn't just give me answers every time I prayed. It used to make me insane that I would follow gut instincts and they would lead me further away from what I wanted. I used to hate moments when I was praying and a clear answer wouldn't arise. But now- looking back on where I have been- I am so thankful. He can't give us all the answers, sometimes he trusts us enough to make up our own minds. He can't lead us to all the places- sometimes he has to shut doors to force us to jump out windows. He can't feed us all of our lessons on a silver platter. I have this idea in my head of where I want to be- but that means nothing about where I am supposed to end up. We have to act as if everything depends on us, and pray as if everything depends on him. We have to follow our passions, our instincts, and trust revelations and failures that lead us in other directions. We have to accept that our lives will not ever be perfect or end up where we expect them too. When I was six I was certain I'd be famous by now. When I was sixteen I thought I would be at NYU, living the non member life of a musical theater major by now. When I was eighteen I thought I would be married in the temple, majoring in acting. And here I am- here. It took so many chances, failure, prompting, guiding, dragging my feet, anger, tears, and acceptance and I couldn't be happier.

Heavenly Father knows what I need. He doesn't give me what I want (Which would be happiness all the time, an easy life, a rich lifestyle, and an abundance of talent). Instead he gives me things to teach me. Because I am born naturally terrible at everything- I know the importance of hard work. Because I have many shortcomings- I have learned the value of empathy. Because I suffer from health problems- I have learned the necessity of optimism. Because I doubt everything- I have learned the importance of faith.

He answers prayers. He hears us. He can't always answer the ways we want him to- but he does. He answers every day when the pain lessens a little bit. He answers every time his arms enfold you, and something seems to be whispering to you "it's going to be okay." He answers every time you look back on the failure and see the reason. He answers you every time you take the time to learn the reasons. And he answers every time you come across a scripture or talk that speaks to you. He answers through the love of others. And he answers by leading you where he knows you'd need to end up. And you have to trust that in the end- it will all be worth it.