A religious ramble when on Oxycodine

I find it funny how people assume they know what type of a person I am. And a lot of people assume because of my blutness, honesty, sense of humor, and passion that they know what my testimony is like. It makes me sad that people always are surprised, when in times of trial, I am so quick to point them to the gospel- but it is such a part of my life. I don't think being religious means you have to pretend that you are perfect, have no urges, no sexuality, and no personality. I am just as loud about my religion as I am about my thoughts. So here I am being all preachy when slightly drugged up.

I am so thankful for all the trials I have in my life. I am so thankful that Heavenly Father gave me the trial of my health. It has taught me patience, understanding, empathy, trust, and most of all the eternal perspective.

My faith is not dependant on outcomes. Heavenly Father has told me from the start- I will always have my ailment, it won't always be fun- but I will always have arms to enfold me when needed. Heavenly Father knew me well enough to know I was a stubborn, independant child- and he knew that he would have to do something to constantly remind me that I am not supposed to do everything by myself. I have faith that this is part of a plan, and I know the plan doesn't include some magical cure, or just praying enough that it will all be healed. I have even more faith in it- that I am going to endure this hardship for a majority of my life- and instead of letting it ever get me down for more than a day- I am going to endure through it. Through prayer, temples, priesthood members, faith, and the holy ghost- he will be there to comfort me every minute. He has never left me to feel alone, or doubt my strength in this hardship.

28¶Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the ^aeverlasting God, the Lord, the ^bCreator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no ^csearching of his understanding.

29He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.

30Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall:

31But they that ^await upon the Lord shall ^brenew their ^cstrength; they shall mount up with wings as ^deagles; they shall ^erun, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

-Isaiah 40